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Have you ever felt like you're not feeding your child healthy enough? Or you feel like you don't know if your reading them stories enough? Or you feel like your baby isn't developing at the same rate compared to your friend's baby? Or you feel like you're just not a good enough mom in general? If you said yes to any of these questions you have experienced mom guilt! It's awful. It's something that I feel like every mom struggles with but some moms know how to deal with it better than others!
I wish I could say I am one of those moms. But I'm not. I struggle with it on a daily basis. Mostly because I'm constantly comparing myself to other moms. Those terrible thoughts come into your head and tell you "you will never be enough for Noelyn". Those thoughts are just the devil speaking lies into your heart. Don't let him win! The truth is what the Lord says and he says, "you are precious to me and I love you" (Isaiah 43:4).
It's ok to feel like a bad mom. We all do. But don't stay stuck in that place. God has shown us time and time again in His word that He is here for us. His strength is made perfect in your weakness! (2 Corinthians 12:9).
And guess what? On your worst days...God's grace is sufficient!! You've got this momma's. This leads me to my first way to overcome mom guilt: 1. Spend time with Jesus.
This means getting up either earlier than your little ones or squeezing in a time during nap time or maybe once everyone is in bed. Whatever your jam is (mine would be during nap time!) find a spot in your day where you can give your undivided attention to Jesus. Sometimes I'll just watch a sermon on YouTube or read my one paragraph devotional. And these are great options but I find when I'm neglecting the actual relationship part with Jesus. The reading His word part. The praying part. The being still in His presence part. That's when I start to lose control over my emotions and thoughts. And that's the itty bitty crack in the door to my heart that the devil sneaks in through and tells me lies. If you want the grace and peace that Jesus is so kindly offering then spend sometime with Him. I promise you, you will feel so much better about yourself.
2. Stay as organized as you can.
I realized quickly that my mom guilt heightened when my house was a mess. Now I'm not saying to keep your house super clean at all times! I actually would not encourage that. Clean homes can make for very little one on one time with your children. Spend more time with your children than cleaning! You'll never regret it. But if it helps you seem sane and not allow those mom guilt thoughts to overtake you, then try and just do one hour of cleaning each day to help you feel like you've accomplished something. I try to stay on top of my cleaning by doing the dishes every night and having the kitchen somewhat clean. There's just something about having a clean kitchen in the morning when you go to make your coffee. It's the best feeling! It's the worst feeling going into a messy kitchen and feeling the stress of the mess. So find that one thing that keeps your sanity. Maybe it's making your bed or keeping the living room clean because that's where you spend the most time or meal planning for the week so you don't have to think about what you're going to cook or doing your hair and makeup during nap time so you feel ready for the day. Just do that one thing that makes you feel better about yourself and then that will likely make you want to accomplish more!
3. And finally...take a phone vaca.
Jess and I love following all these cute mommas on insta and Facebook and even on pinterest! But sometimes you need a break from all that so you can stop comparing yourself to them. It's ok to follow those moms and look at all their cute and seemingly perfect babes but when you're feeling low and having mom guilt, that is not what you need! I have a few tricks that I do to help me take a phone vaca.
First, I will drag all of my apps that aren't helping me (Facebook, Instagram, pinterest) to my last page on my phone or better yet I will delete them from my home screen or put them in their own folder out of the way. This eliminates the temptation and habit of just clicking into these apps because they're right there when you swipe into your phone. Second thing I will do is try and only be on my phone while Noelyn is napping. I have my phone out with me to take pictures and videos but I try not to be on it while I'm with her. Third, is actually turn off your phone, for an hour even. Be present with your babe. Get down on the ground and play with them, go for a walk, read a story together, cook together, etc. Everyone tells you they grow up so fast but you really don't realize it until it's too late and they are already almost a year old and you have no idea where the time went.
With saying all this...YOU ARE ENOUGH! You are enough for that little babe/babes of yours. And you are doing an amazing job even when it doesn't feel like it. You are doing the most important job there is and it's hard work! Its a 24/7 job. So don't worry that your house isn't perfectly clean. Don't worry that your hair is a mess and your still in your jammies at noon. Worry about being there for your baby and investing in them! I love this quote I've been seeing floating around...
You're an amazing mom! Remember that.