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December 10th, 2017.
It was the day that I could not get out of my head. I would daily ask the Lord, "Was this the day you have planned for me to have our sweet baby? Or it is just a random date in my head?" Well today was the day it all started! Don't you love that the Lord cares about EVERY detail of your life and whispers sweet details into your heart that you can hold on to.
I woke up and it was a sunny Sunday. I stuffed my face full of pineapple, which is supposed to help bring on labor, and got myself ready for church! After church I met up with my momma to go for a long walk, which also is supposed to help bring on labor. I was determined today would be the day! As I was walking I started to notice that my body indeed was feeling different and I was feeling somewhat crampy. We finished our snowy walk and I called my midwife who confirmed that I was indeed in the first stage of labor! She encouraged me to relax and take it easy as this stage could sometimes take a couple days of your body preparing for what was to come. I gladly took her advice and enjoyed warm baths, cozy snuggles on the couch with my hubs and watched endless Christmas hallmark movies. This stage continued through the night and into the next day but the crampy feeling was turning more into a nauseous painful contraction that was harder to ignore.
By 6pm Monday I called my midwife to come check on baby and I to ease my mind and tell me what I could expect next. I loved my midwifes and can't recommend them enough! She came and assessed me and babe and stated that I was 3cm dilated and that everything was looking good and progressing well. Well as soon as she left my mucous plug came out which was holy cow not what I expected ha. Look it up on google if you want to know more about that ha. Anyways after that happened my contractions sped up and were painful to the point that I did not want to talk but just needed to focus and breath through the pain but they still were not consistent in time. By 11pm I said to Nathan (My husband) "this is getting really bad I think we should call our midwife again". Our midwife lived in another town and at this point there was a blizzard outside and I was worried it would take her a long time to trek through the snow. We called our midwife and she said "Ya know I just had a feeling like you were going to go into labor tonight so I stayed in town." SEE!! Midwifes are amazing and are very sensitive and aware of the situation at hand, at least mine was and we were beyond thankful! I never had the intention of having a home birth so the midwife suggested that we head on over and meet her at the hospital.
We met my mom at the hospital and were admitted to our room which honestly was the 'penthouse room' of the hospital! It was a corner room with tons of windows on the 6th floor facing the winter wonderland outside! My midwife assessed me again and stated that I was at 5cm dilated and at that point the pain was increasing and causing me to vomit which was the worst! So much for trying to eat healthy and whatnot prior to this event in attempts to increase my energy and endurance. The only comfortable position for me was to be sitting on the 'peanut ball' which was an exercise ball in the shape of a peanut. My midwife would apply pressure to my hips and sway my body back and forth on the ball through the contraction. I honestly don't know what I would have done without her!
My husband was my angel in this whole process and held my hand through everything. He also made me a worship set list which made me cry but also helped me focus and remember that my strength would come from my Heavenly Father who has never left my side and has never brought me through something that He wont help me with.
I kept pushing through the contractions for a couple hours and then my midwife assessed me and stated that I was 6cm dilated and suggested that we break my water to speed things along which I was very happy to hear. After she broke my water oh myyyy goodness it felt like the contractions never started or stopped it felt like there was no time in between to breath. But I was pushing through with the finish line in sight. Two more hours passed and I was still at 6cm!!! I was like okay I need something to help me. Ha It's hard enough to push through the pain but mentally knowing that none of those contractions dilated me more was frustrating.
My midwife suggested that we consult the doctor and get an epidural which I consented to but also wanted to try the laughing gas to assist meanwhile. I was so thankful my midwife assessed the situation and knew I had been uncomfortable and in pain for the last couple days and was unable to keep anything down, therefore my energy was running out. I tried the laughing gas through a mask and it felt like it did NOTHING except make me vomit again! The anesthesiologist came and was amazing and inserted the epidural which they said would start to work in the next 20 min or so. They were hoping to have my body relax enough to allow me to sleep and eat something to increase my energy for pushing later. Well by 10 min I felt the strongest urge to "poop" excuse the term but that's honestly what it felt like ha. The nurse and midwife checked me and said well that may be because you are now ten cm dilated and the head has descended into the birth canal.
And that was it! An hour and half of pushing later and our sweet 6.4lb Sterling North Kirschner was here at 11:52pm and my life has never been the same! He is blessing from God that I never could have imagined my life without.
THE PAIR-ADIGM SHIFT
Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before tone of them came to be.
My favorite song on my birthing play list was: Peace Be Still by The Belonging Co feat. Lauren Daigle.
Especially the chorus lines I remember tuning my ears into the song and tears started streaming down my cheeks:
Peace be still
Say the word and I will
Set my feet apon the sea
Till I'm dancing in the deep
Oh, peace be still
you are here so it is well
Even when my eyes can't see
I will trust the voice that speaks